Archives 2009

The Saints Win! The Saints Win! Theeee, oh, he missed it?


Saints owner Tom Benson (above) was celebrating his teams 3-point victory they pulled out 20-17 over the Tampa Bay Bucs as time expired. He and his wife Gayle were jumping for joy as if they sealed the #1 overall spot in the NFC and moved to 14-1 on the year. Last weeks effort against Dallas was nothing more than a smudge in the rear-view mirror. Kicker Garrett Hartley nailed the 37-yard field goal with ease.

Oh, wait…Something isn’t right. Why is the Superdome silent and the only noise seems to be coming from my own box?



Gayle, get off me! I don’t think he made it. Nope, seriously Gayle, he missed the kick. Gayle, get off me – grab my phone, call Sean, see if we can challenge this I swear the ref put his arms up.



Sean isn’t answering? What time are the Eagles playing, Gayle? 4:15? Ok, perfect – call McNabb see what happens next, this game can’t possibly end in a tie can it?

Little did Mr. Benson know he would of been joyed at the site of a scoreboard reading 17-17 and tied. The missed 37-yard field goal resulted in the game going to overtime where rookie kicker Connar Barth later nailed a 47-yard field goal to make it back to back wins for the Buccaneers.

In a stunning turn of events that likely caused Gator fans to check every viable source of sporting information across internet-land – it’s been confirmed that head football coach Urban Meyer is stepping down.

When Coach Urban Meyer was admitted to the hospital following the SEC Championship game, it was reported that he was suffering from dehydration. Later it was reported that he was suffering from chest pains.

ESPN is reporting that Urban Meyer’s heart muscle has a defect, and that is the reason for his surprising resignation from the University of Florida.

Meyer has been to the hospital at least twice since suffering chest pains after the SEC title game, a Florida source told ESPN. The heart problems are stress related, not congenital.

Although, doctors say it isn’t life threatening – it is serious enough for Meyer to step back and address it immediately.

Meyer has scheduled a press conference for Sunday afternoon in New Orleans.

What does this mean for Gator-Nation?

Urban Meyer, Tim Tebow, Riley Cooper, Jermaine Cunningham, and Brandon Spikes are definitely gone. Dan Mullen departed last season and Charlie Strong has left for Louisville as of now this season. That’s Florida’s head coach, QB, defensive coordinator, leading wide receiver, defensive coordinator, defensive end, and middle linebacker. Can you Gator fans handle more bad news?

Meyer’s departure means Florida’s loaded junior class is almost certainly NFL-bound. Say toodles to starting cornerback Joe Haden, defensive end Carlos Dunlap, tight end Aaron Hernandez, the Pouncey twins, and defensive backs Major Wright and Ahmad Black.

Reports have it that a number of their 2010 verbal commitments have already been contacted by Florida State, Miami, Tennessee, and many others but; have yet to hear from Florida on the Urban Meyer news.

Nothing should be taken for granted in this world, so let’s take a look at Meyer’s accomplishments at Florida.

After calling it quits after five seasons in Gainesville and two national titles. He goes into the bowl game with a 56-10 record at Florida that includes a 32-8 mark in league play and a school-record 22-game winning streak ended early this month against Alabama.

“I have given my heart and soul to coaching college football and mentoring young men for the last 24-plus years and I have dedicated most of my waking moments the last five years to the Gator football program,” Meyer said in a statement. “I have ignored my health for years, but recent developments have forced me to reevaluate my priorities of faith and family.

“After consulting with my family, Dr. Machen, Jeremy Foley and my doctors, I believe it is in my best interest to step aside and focus on my health and family.”

“Coach Meyer and I have talked this through and I realize how hard this was for him to reach this decision,” Foley said in a statement. “But, the bottom line is that Coach Meyer needed to make a choice that is in the best interest of his well being and his family. I certainly appreciate what he has meant to the University of Florida, our football program and the Gator Nation. I have never seen anyone more committed to his players, his family and his program. Above all, I appreciate our friendship.”

Potential successors to Meyer could include Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops, Boise State’s Chris Petersen, Arkansas’ Bobby Petrino, who was the other top candidate in 2004 when Meyer got the job, former Florida Gator and Super Bowl-winning NFL coach Mike Shanahan and former Meyer assistants Dan Mullen and Charlie Strong. Former Florida offensive coordinator Mullen just finished his first season as head coach at Mississippi State. Defensive coordinator Strong was named the head coach at Louisville earlier this month.

Many think that this health issue will not be career ending but; if that were to be the case even at the young age of 45, Meyer should be considered a legend. The way he has turned around every program he has ever been a part of is what legends are made of. He will truly be missed.

TAGS: Florida Gators | Urban Meyer | College Football

Chan Ho Park is suing former catcher Chad Kreuter

Former Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Chan Ho Park is suing the teammate who caught his pitches. Park is claiming his former catcher stiffed him on a loan close to half-a-million dollars.

Park is claiming Chad Kreuter still owes him $460,000 on an unpaid loan from 2005 when they played together.

In the lawsuit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Park says he made the loan because Kreuter “had been a highly compensated Major League Baseball player” and he assured Park that he “would have no difficulty paying the money back.”

According to the lawsuit, Kreuter signed a promissory note for the debt, but only made one payment for $290,000 to this point.

Now Park wants the remaining $170,000 of the loan plus interest and fees for the lengthy time it’s taken – totaling $226,358.76.

TAGS: MLB | L.A. Dodgers

TAGS: PGA | PayneInsider.com

Landry’s teeth embedded into Nowitzki’s elbow!!!


TAGS: Houston Rockets | Dallas Mavericks | NBA |

It’s a damn shame for those of you that are “NFL Network Inclined” – there is nothing like weeknight football. However, this season I will be honest and say…You haven’t missed too much. So far the games on Thursday night have been absolute duds.

49ers-Bears was a game that seemed like the winner was crowned by who had more turnovers. Dolphins-Panthers was a bearable thanks to Ricky Williams (“Bun Ricky, Bun”). In between nodding off from the tryptophan Broncos-Giants was a whitewash. Just when I thought there couldn’t be a less entertaining game to watch, the Jets and Bills squared off (the leading passer threw for whopping 104 yards). Last week featured a team in the Steelers that sunk faster than the Titanic, and a 1-11 team (at the time) in the Browns. This week, we have a team that could careless about going undefeated vs. a team who’s hometown people don’t care to watch – why should we?

Meanwhile, there’s possibly the best show to hit network television in YEARS…

Tonight, Thursday at 10:00PM Eastern airs the 4th episode of MTV’s Jersey Shore. If you’ve yet to view this Guido gambit, here is a sample of what you’ve missed.

“I mean this situation is going to be indescribable. You can’t even describe the situation that you’re about to get into, the situation.”

“If a girl’s a slut, she should be abused.”

“All the girls are like fish and so we throw out a line and see if we can sink it.”

“A guidette is somebody who knows how to club it up, takes really good care of themselves, has pretty hair, cakes on makeup, has tan skin, wears the highest heels, pretty much they know how to own it and rock it.”

“You know what time it is? It’s time to get my rhino juice in my SYSSSTem The Rhino juice gets the night going. I mean when ever that comes up it’s always a filthy night. It really is. That’s the root of all evil.”

“I love the jersey shore. I love being a guidette but I’m not feeling it right now. I’m the princess of Poughkeepsie but here I’m nobody.”

“I just saw your penis. I love it.”

“I represent Italians, family, hair gel and tanning”

“My abs are so ripped up it’s called ‘the situation.'”

“Everybody loves me… ladies, dogs, girls, cougars… Mass appeal”

“I left the club early because I didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend. And I felt like eating ham and drinking water.”

Ok, great, now your up to speed with the greatest show television has to offer. Through many weeks of deciphering which to choose from – and wearing the “PREVIOUS” button off the remote switching back and forth; I have come to a solution. I have timed this out to perfection and so far it’s pretty accurate. Fortunately, around 10:00PM Eastern when Jersey Shore airs it’s half-time in the Football game. Yes, sometimes “THE SITUATION” of having Jersey Shore bleed into the start of the 3rd quarter happens but; who doesn’t love a good train wreck? Sign me up for more ham, cheese, and rhino juice please!

The cast at Seaside Heights is a must watch, and it’s only on once a week for 60 minutes. Hell, there’s roughly 15 NFL games a week – that’s over 2700 minutes of manly-hood. This is A, B, C folks – quality over quantity wins out every single day of the week.

TAGS: MTV | Jersey Shore | NFL | NFL Network |

“The Black Mamba” strikes in overtime on Wednesday


TAGS: Los Angeles Lakers | Kobe Bryant | NBA

Elin Nordegren, 29, has made the decision to leave the disgraced golf star Tiger Woods.

A source close to Nordegren said on Wednesday that a “divorce is 100 percent on.”

Pictures of Nordegren have been rare since her husband’s post-Thanksgiving car accident and the ensuing sex scandal but; recently some photos of her without her wedding ring have surfaced.

“She’s made up her mind. There’s nothing to think about, he’s never going to change.” another close fiend of Elin’s has stated.

Last night she was preparing to leave Florida with their two children – daughter Sam, 2, and Charlie, 10 months – to celebrate Christmas without Woods in her homeland of Sweden.

This should come as no surprise since Elin has recently hired Sorrell Trope, a pre-eminent law attorney with experience in handling high profile cases.

The same unnamed friend said: “She’s not rushing to divorce. She’s going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything.”

Woods announced late last week he was taking an indefinite leave from public life and golf while he works to fix his marriage after multiple allegations of infidelity.

“I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children,” Woods said in a statement released last week. “I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.”

At this point it doesn’t look like Woods is getting the forgiveness he was looking for but; as we know until the divorce papers are signed nothing is official.

Later in the day Tiger Woods finally was delivered some positive news for the first time in over a month. Woods was named Athlete of the Decade by Associated Press and received support from former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, who told Woods to “hang in there”.

Just when Chris Henry seemed to have his life finally headed in the right direction, a broken forearm sidelined him for the rest of the NFL season.

Now, it seems like a life threatening car accident could leave Chris sidelined in the game of life, forever.

The 26 year old Henry suffered serious injuries after falling out of the back of a pickup truck during a domestic dispute with his fiancee, police said Wednesday.

Henry was found in the road in South Charlotte “apparently suffering life-threatening injuries,” according to Charlotte-Mecklenburg police. Henry was transported to Carolina’s Medical Center, the local trauma unit.

Police said a dispute began at home just before noon and Henry jumped into the bed of the pickup truck as his fiancee Loleini Tonga was driving away from the residence.

Henry was found on a residential street about a half mile away from the home when police were called to the scene after a medic report that a man was down.

Nothing has been released to the reason pertaining to the domestic dispute between Henry and Tonga – In fact, Loleini had been bragging about the upcoming wedding on her personal Myspace page hours before the incident saying: “Put deposIt down 4 weDDing piCs… Paid 4 ouR riNgs.”

At this time Chris Henry is in a life threatening state and we will continue to follow this story closely. There are many false reports out there at this particular time saying Henry is in fact dead. This maybe the end result but; at this particular time no such details have been released.

TAGS: Chris Henry | Cincinnati Bengals | NFL | Loleini Tonga

The following was written by Norman Chad for The Washington Post. Pure comedy…

It’s every man’s nightmare: Pulling out of your own driveway, you hit a fire hydrant and 37 mistresses drop out of the sky. Tiger Woods’s private flings have become public fodder. He is taking an “indefinite break” from golf, but he carries on. Here now, “A Day in the Life of Tiger Woods”:

6:10 a.m.: Wakes up, gets dressed and goes home.

6:45: Breakfast at Perkins Restaurant. Tips waitress $250 on a $16.75 bill.

8:13: Calls Las Vegas banks, sees if anyone has tried to cash one of those oversize golf checks.

8:52: Five-year supply of Gillette razors mysteriously has been dumped into guest bathroom.

9:07: Cancels lunch date with David Duchovny.

10:28: Switches cellphone service from “family plan” to “unlimited night and weekend mistress minutes.”

11:14: Takes Jesper Parnevik off Christmas card list.

11:56: Finishes monthly column for Golf Digest on unplayable lies.

12:03 p.m.: Picks up rental tux for “Cablinasian Father of the Year” banquet.

1:43: Sees if Hank Haney’s got any bright ideas.

2:38: Nike calls back, tells him it will not replace the golf club.

3:00: Oprah!

4:02: On off chance he has no other plans, books New Year’s Eve trip to Caesars Palace.

4:18: Faxes Dick Ebersol questions NBC can ask him during February’s WGC-Match Play Championship.

4:37: Denies published report that he cheated on AT&T with T-Mobile.

5:05: Leaves Post-it note on refrigerator, asking Elin to still pick up Sunday golf shirts at cleaners.

5:22: What’s a good texting translation for “prophylactics”?

5:30: Watches “Around the Horn” on mute.

6:06: Picks up snacks for book club.

6:22: Sets up TiVo to record Dr. Drew on VH1.

6:28: Orders “Porn Star Brides” from Netflix.

7:13: Shoots 61 on Wii golf.

8:44: Barkley and MJ won’t answer their pagers.

9:19: Just for the heck of it, googles “sex in a church parking lot.”

10:31: Sends flowers to Rachel.

10:32: Sends flowers to Jamiee.

10:33: Sends flowers to Kalika.

10:34: Sends flowers to Jamie.

10:35: Sends flowers to Mindy.

10:36: Sends flowers to Cori.

10:37: Sends flowers to Holly.

10:38: Sends flowers to Joslyn.

10:39: Buys 25,000 shares of FTD stock on Ameritrade.

11:26: Notices that Elin has “Tiger-proofed” master bedroom.

11:58: Double-checks prenup to see if it has “lothario loophole.”

2:25 a.m.: E-mails Windermere Public Works and asks if it can remove that hydrant.

TAGS: PGA | Golf Channel | Holly Sampson | Mindy Lawton | Rachel Uchitel | Kalika Moquin | Joslyn James